看老外改托福作文(上)

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2007:02:25 14:34:34
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网



Some people claim that there is no benefit
原文
Some people claim that there is no benefit from games and sports at all especially for adults. But in actual fact, sports and games have many benefits for children and also for adults. They release pressure and teach us skills of surviving in this tough life. Also, they provide entertainment and pleasure and help socialize our lives.
Experts said that practicing sports release pressure since the tired body releases Hormones that relax us and make us feel better. For example, I am used to swimming before exam times by 1 hour, and after swimming, I find that I totally relax and loose anxiety and that helps me a lot doing well in exams and getting high grades. Moreover, students need good health. For example, it is difficult for non athletic students to walk fast from one side of the campus to the other to catch up their classes and even if they could, they would reach classes but exhausted and so can not pay attention to lectures.
Playing sports and games will teach you many skills that you need in this tough life. For example, competing with others is everydays habit that no one would success without it. They also, teach you how to accept loosing and how to try again and again till achieving your goals. These exactly the things that people practice daily when they play sports and games.
Being adults does not mean that you don‘t need entertainment. Rather I see many old people playing video games in my city since video games satisfy them. For example, once I am not happy, I turn my Play Station 2 on, play football with my 80 years old grandmother and when I defeat her hardly, I feel that am in high spirits.
Playing games and sports has important advantages in a way that it socializes our lives. For example, when people intend to play basketball, they do it in groups. That will give them team spirit and a chance to identify each other very well and make friendships and relationships. For example, I was a shy lonely boy when I met a sporty guy who loves to play basketball. Then he introduced me to his team and I started playing with theme and step by step, I became a social happy boy filled with team spirit that helps me a lot in my family life and my career life.
And so, it is not true that sports and games do not have advantages for adults, since they decrease the stress, teach us skills that we need, satisfy us, and socialize our lives. And to get the most of the benefits, they should be practiced daily.
修改后的(大写部分)
Some people claim that there is no benefit from games and sports at all especially for adults. But in actual fact, sports and games have many benefits for children and also for adults. They release pressure and teach us skills of surviving in this tough life. Also, they provide entertainment and pleasure and help socialize our lives.
Experts said that practicing sports releaseS pressure since the tired body releases Hormones that relax us and make us feel better. For example, I am used to swimming/I USUALLY SWIM before exam times by/FOR 1 hour, and after swimming, I find that I totally relax and loose/LOSE anxiety and that helps me a lot doing well in exams and getting high grades. Moreover, students need good health. For example, it is difficult for non athletic students to walk fast from one side of the campus to the other to catch (up) their classes and even if they could, they would reach classes but exhausted and so can not pay attention to lectures.
Playing sports and games will teach you many skills that you need in this tough life. For example, competing with others is everydays/A DAILY habit that no one would success/SUCCEED without it. They also, teach you how to accept loosing/LOSING and how to try again and again till achieving your goals. These ARE exactly the things that people practice daily when they play sports and games.
Being adults does not mean that you don‘t need entertainment. Rather I see many old people playing video games in my city since video games satisfy them. For example, once I am not happy/WHEN I AM UNHAPPY, I turn my Play Station 2 on, play football with my 80 year old grandmother and when I defeat her hardly/COMPLETELY, I feel that am in high spirits.
Playing games and sports has important advantages in a way that it socializes our lives. For example, when people intend to play basketball, they do it in groups. That will give them team spirit and a chance to identify each other very well and make friendships and relationships. For example, I was a shy lonely boy when I met a sporty guy who loves to play basketball. Then he introduced me to his team and I started playing with theme/THEM and step by step/GRADUALLY, I became a social happy boy filled with team spirit that helps me a lot in my family life and my career life.
And so, it is not true that sports and games do not have advantages for adults, since they decrease the stress, teach us skills that we need, satisfy us, and socialize our lives. And to get the most of the benefits, they should be practiced daily.

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