托福备考资料:T友写作范文汇总(十四)

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2007:11:14 13:34:49
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

“When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.
A part of statement said like this" People should attribute their success to hard work when they succeed while luck do nothing to it." The attitude to this sentence divert differently. Someone cannot agree with more while others consider that luck indeed do something to success and it play a role. As far as I am concerned, I would like to say I don not agree with this quotation. And both hard work and luck contribute to success. My opinion will be substantiated in the following analysis.
First of all, hard work plays a vital role in ones success. It goes without saying that all achievements people gain result from diligent work and effort. There are numerous examples and moved stories to support my point of view. Einstein, for example, one of the most outstanding scientists, is famous for his diligence and devotion. And Madame Curie, the first winner of two Noble Prize, spent her most time in the lab. When people discuss a topic about hard work, they always list a large number of remarkable peoples names to indicate that success is the outcome of hard work. They are like twins, connecting with each other firmly.

However, does hard work lead to success inevitably and Ultimately? Luck is another indispensable factor for success. let us take Madame Curie as an example again. As we all know, Madame Curie and her husband could not devote themselves in finding one curious element more while the result disappointed them. At one night, a slight blue flame came into her eyes. Thus this flame earned her the Noble Prize. Imagine that if she had no the good luck to happen to watch this flame, what is the result? Maybe she was just an unknown diligent woman.

In addition, I want to quote a proverb to dedicate my view, that is, man proposed, God disposed. This proverb illustrates the relationship between hard work and luck and also indicates the powerlessness of human being in front of the luck. Undoubtedly, good luck only prefers those prepared persons. Therefore, people should grasp the part of element that they can control and manage and look forward to having good luck.

In sum, luck does not do nothing to success, while it is an important ingredient. To succeed, one have to prepare himself well first then wishes himself good luck.

修改意见:
.“When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

A part of statement said like this"(a little awkward, but I donot know how to rewrite) People should attribute their success to hard work when they succeed while luck do nothing to it." The attitude to this sentence divert differently. Someone cannot agree with more (it is spoken English)while others consider that luck indeed do something to success and it play a role. As far as I am concerned, I would like to say I don not agree with this quotation statement. And both hard work and luck contribute to success. My opinion will be substantiated in the following analysis.

theme statement is clear, but not so impressive.

First of all, hard work plays a vital role in ones success. It goes without (is it an idiom? hei...)saying that all achievements people gain result from diligent work and effort. There are numerous examples and moved stories to support my point of view. Einstein,(it is better to write the first name and last name together) for example, one of the most outstanding scientists, is famous for his diligence and devotion. And Madame Curie, the first winner of two Noble Prize, spent her most time in the lab. When people discuss a topic about hard work, they always list a large number of remarkable peoples names to indicate that success is the outcome of hard work.(good sentence) They(pronoun but I would repeat the nouns) are like twins, connecting with each other firmly.

However, does hard work lead to success inevitably and Ultimately?(good linking sentence) Luck is another indispensable factor for success. let us take Madame Curie as an example again. As we all know, Madame Curie(are you sure the spelling right) and her husband could not devote themselves in finding one curious element radioactive elements more while the result disappointed them. At one night, a slight blue flame came into her eyes. Hinted by the flame, she succeeded in discovering the first radioactive element in the chemstry history, earning her the Noble Prize.Thus this flame earned her the Noble Prize. Imagine that if she had no the good luck to happen to watch this flame, what is the result? Maybe she was just an unknown diligent woman.

In addition, I want to quote a proverb to dedicate my view, that is, man proposed, God disposed. This proverb illustrates the relationship between hard work and luck and also indicates the powerlessness of human being in front of the luck. Undoubtedly, good luck only prefers those prepared persons. Therefore, people should grasp the part of element that they can control and manage and look forward to having good luck.

good point

In sum, luck does not do nothing to success, while it is an important ingredient. To succeed, one have to prepare himself well first then wishes himself good luck.

very weak conclusion

the supporting evidence is good enough, but the conclusion is too weak. check the spelling of the names you mentioned, and pay some attention to spoken english which is not suitable in the formal writing.