There is a saying goes ... [应为There is a saying which goes ...]
There are many people think that... [应为There are many people who think that...或者直接说Many people think that...]
It s the major thing affects people s friendship. [少了一个that]
When we have difficulty, someone helps you right away is the real friend. [少了一个who]
2. NO MATTER / WHETHER错误，这是英语专业学生最容易犯的另一类错误：
Friendship is important for no matter rich people or poor people. [宜改为Friendship is possible, whether for rich people or for poor people. "no matter"后面必须接一个小句（主语、谓语完整）]
5. 逻辑域错误。这个应该不难判断，但还是经常出错： If people become friends, both of them won t care about money... [可改为neither of them care about money...]
其他：
语义重复
In my opinion, I agree with the view that... [agree一词本身就表示说话人的观点，可将In my opinion去掉，或把后面的一半改为the view that... is right]
share many common interests [common与share属同义反复，可改为have many common interests或share many interests]
论断过于绝对，缺乏足够思考
A person with good finance will not understand why his poor friend gets on a sardine-jam like bus and always choose to dine at some poor-condition restaurant at the roadsides... [相信富人也不至于笨到这个程度]
句义严重反复，缺乏变化
Some people believe that financial disparity affects friendship. Some believe that financial disparity doesn t affect friendship. For my part, I agree with the latter, because financial disparity doesn t affect friendship. [不必多说了]
连词错误
It is not difficult to imagine if those rich people have some poor friends with common interests. [if一词显然应该是that，不过更通顺的说法应该是It is not difficult to imagine rich people having some poor friends with similar interests.]
不会使用照应语
We won t ask people whether they have much money or not when making friends with other people. [people和other people显然应该是同指关系，后面的other people应改为them才对]