托福备考资料:T友写作范文汇总(十九)

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2008:01:10 13:44:19
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor? Use specific details and examples in your answer.
What are the qualities of a good neighbor? Kindness, generosity, patience, or any quality else? It seems that we can enumerate so many qualities that a good neighbor should have. Theoretically, people hope that their neighbor can possess all of the qualities presented above, but practically, it is almost impossible for our neighbors to hold all of them. In fact, with some of these features, a neighbor can be called a good neighbor. In the following analysis, I would like to pick up some qualities, which I consider the most important, to exhibit what kind of neighbor can be called good neighbor.

Above all, kindness is the most important quality of a good neighbor. A warm-hearted neighbor can give you many help that your distant relatives cannot provide. For example, a person breaks his ankle and almost cannot walk when he is working in his garden, and his wife and children are not there. If he has a warm-hearted neighbor and that person heard the cry for help, such neighbor will call the ambulance as soon as possible, the action sometimes will save the life of the person who is injured. Contrarily, a coldhearted neighbor will pretend to hear nothing, or even leave as his neighbor crying painfully. Therefore, how wonderful you have a kind neighbor.

Another quality of a good neighbor is patience. Everybody lives in the community, talking to anyone else and doing something related to anyone else everyday. Although the relationship between one and his neighbor can be well maintained most of time, some unhappy things, such as the loss of the newspaper, the noise of the dog, or the broken window caused by the child will cause some suspicions or misunderstanding. No one can do everything fine if he or she is irate, and harmful words and actions will also erupt out of control when one is not calm enough. Such words or actions will in turn totally ruin the good relationship that has been improved. When one side is angry at the problem caused by the other side, patience appears more important than any quality else then. Unhappy thing between neighbors is inevitable, but patient neighbor can keep the things under control and explain everything clearly, the behavior in turn will not harm the relationship between neighbors, or even improve it. Whereas, the impatient neighbors will cause the result worse because they are not able to give others chance to interpret. Then, suspicions and misunderstanding will stack and not be released.

In addition, a good neighbor will not disturb anyone else. For example, many young people are interested in music, such as pop or rock, and some of these youth sing loudly at midnight in the apartment without taking care of the feeling of anyone else, who probably need to have a good sleep for the work or study of the next day. Undoubtedly, this kind of person is not favorable. Moreover, keeping the garden clean not messy, making the family not only peaceful but also happy, and talking about the problem with neighbor face-to-face, rather than speaking ill of the neighbor back of him are also dominant qualities of a good neighbor.
In conclusion, because neighbor is neighbor, not the member of our family, we cannot request too much of them, a neighbor with kindness, patience and politeness is good enough to be called as a good neighbor. Of course, if the neighbor also has such the qualities as generosity, honesty and sympathy, the only words we can say is: Oh, my God! Thanks a lot!

修改意见:
What are the qualities of a good neighbor? Kindness, generosity, patience, or any quality else (any other qualities)? It seems that we can enumerate so many qualities that a good neighbor should have. Theoretically(不会吧，“理论上”大了吧，我想用generally比较好), people hope that their neighbor(neighbors) can possess all of the qualities presented above, but practically, it is almost impossible for our neighbors to hold all of them. In fact, with some of these features, a neighbor can be called a good neighbor. In the following analysis, I would like to pick up some qualities, which I consider the most important, to exhibit what kind of neighbor (neighbors) can be called good neighbor (neighbors).

Above all, kindness is (one of) the most important qualities of a good neighbor. A warm-hearted neighbor can give you many help that your distant relatives cannot provide. For example, a person breaks his ankle and almost cannot walk when he is working in his garden, and his wife and children are not there. If he has a warm-hearted neighbor and that person heard(与前后的时态有冲突)the cry for help, such (a) neighbor will call the ambulance as soon as possible,(标点) the action sometimes will save the life of the person who is injured(people’s life, especially those who are badly injured and in danger). Contrarily, a coldhearted neighbor will pretend to hear nothing, or even leave as his neighbor crying painfully. Therefore, how wonderful you have a kind neighbor.

Another quality of a good neighbor is patience. Everybody lives in the community, talking to anyone else and doing something related to anyone else everyday. Although the relationship between one (好像GMAT有个语法，一个句子里用one指代，就必须都是one或者是ones，而不能出现后面的his)and his neighbor can be well maintained most of time, some unhappy things, such as the loss of the newspaper, the noise of the dog, or the broken window caused by the child will cause some suspicions or misunderstanding. No one can do everything fine(do fine是必须连用的，用do everything well就行了) if he or she is irate, and harmful words(这句话变成了什么， he or she is words) and actions will also erupt out of control when one(同样是one的指代问题) is not calm enough. Such words or actions will in turn totally ruin the good relationship that has been improved. When one side is angry at the problem caused by the other side, patience appears more important than any quality else then. Unhappy thing(thing是可数名词，还是用复数吧) between neighbors is(are) inevitable, but patient neighbor(neighbors) can keep the things under control and explain everything clearly, the behavior in turn will not harm the relationship between neighbors, or even improve it. Whereas, the impatient neighbors will cause the result worse because they are not able to give others chance to interpret. Then, suspicions and misunderstanding will stack and not be released.

In addition, a good neighbor will not disturb anyone else. For example, many young people are interested in music, such as pop or rock, and some of these youth sing loudly at midnight in the apartment without taking care of the feeling of anyone else, who probably need to have a good sleep for the work or study of the next day. Undoubtedly, this kind of person is not favorable. Moreover, keeping the garden clean not messy, making the family not only peaceful but also happy, and talking about the problem(problems，这里the特指，指什么呢？) with neighbor face-to-face, rather than speaking ill of the neighbor back of him are also dominant qualities of a good neighbor.

In conclusion, because neighbor is neighbor(neighbors are neighbors,好使此句下面的them指代), not the member(members) of our family, we cannot request too much of them(them too much),(标点) a neighbor with kindness, patience and politeness is good enough to be called as a good neighbor. Of course, if the neighbor also has such the qualities as generosity, honesty and sympathy, the only words we can say is(are): Oh, my God! Thanks a lot!

文章不错，改起来很舒服；也再一次的证明了Stoneren果然是牛人不拘小节，断句、单复数问题一贯的毫不在意。