托福备考资料:T友写作范文汇总(二十五)

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2008:01:10 13:44:22
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

TWE023
Nowadays, a lot of teens work in jobs while they are still studying. Some of them really need the money they earn to compensate their school expenses whereas others use the money they earn as pocket money. Whatever the reason for the students to work in jobs is, in my opinion, working is a great experience to all. Having a job is an important opportunity to learn about responsibilities and also teaches teenagers to cooperate with their co-workers and enable them to understand the value of money.

To start with, working in a job gives teenagers lots of situations in which they should act with responsibilities, otherwise they will lose their jobs. A good point for this case is that one has get up early if his working hours start at 8:00 AM in the morning no matter how late he stayed up last night. Otherwise, his superior will warn him or may eventually fire the individual.

Another reason why having jobs as student has positive effects on teenagers is that it teaches them how to cooperate and the importance of cooperation. In a work setting, usually the employees need to depend on each other numerous occasions. If one single employee loafs, others will have to compensate for her workload in addition to their own tasks. Gradually, students will learn from their working experience the importance of cooperation and why every individual should effective carry out her own work.

Furthermore, these working experiences enable the students to understand the value of money and that” Money does not grow on trees.” After the students see how hard they has to work to earn money, they will be more reasonable while spending it, thus their purchasing behavior will be enhanced.

Admittedly, it is true that having a job would partly interfere with students’ schoolwork, but I feel that the advantageous are more obvious, as discussed above. Taking accounts into all these factors and recognizing the fact, I would like to advise students to have jobs while they are still students.

To sum up, when teenagers have jobs as students, they will benefit significantly from the working experiences In this way, students will be more responsible and cooperative when they graduate. Moreover, since they will know better how to spend money, they will reduce the possibility of getting into any trouble due to excessive spending. All in all, having jobs as students is a terrific idea and I believe every student should have a working experience before graduating and starting the professional careers.

修改意见:
大致看了一下。发现思路还是很好的。 不过表达有些似乎很中文化。
还要一些表达过于复杂。 for example:
their purchasing behavior will be enhanced. enhance a kind of behavior, sounds not very idimoatic.

Another reason why having jobs as student has positive effects on teenagers is that it teaches them how to cooperate and the importance of cooperation.

this sentence reads rather awkward. i will revise it int having part-time jobs boasts of another adavantage: it foster cooperative spirits among students .