美国晚间脱口秀一周笑话精选（8月2日）实用英语

文章作者 100test 发表时间 2009:08:05 18:44:49
来源 100Test.Com百考试题网

　　事情的起因是这样的，哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨某次归家，发现进不去家门了，不知道是不是美国没有开锁公司，这位教授就和司机一起决定破门而入。估计这位教授平时一直闷头搞研究不太出门，所以邻居也不太认识他，看到有人闯门就报警了。于是克劳力警官就赶来逮捕了教授。本来说清楚也就没事了，问题在于是一个白人警察逮捕了一个黑人教授，最后还被证明抓错了。于是引起了轩然大波，教授说警察种族歧视，警察说教授威胁他自己依法办案没什么错。最后的解决办法就是奥巴马请两人到白宫召开“啤酒峰会”，大家坐在一起，喝点小酒聊聊家常最好就大事化小小事化无了。于是这件事成了上周被谈论的热点问题。
　　"To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obamas going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan OBrien
　　为了缓解紧张局面，奥巴马总统请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和逮捕了教授的警察到白宫一起喝杯啤酒。如果这有效的话，奥巴马就会请艾哈迈德-内贾德和内塔尼亚胡一起来点红牛。——柯南·奥布莱恩
　　"He invited the professor and the cop to come to the White House on Thursday for beer. Alcohol usually cools things off. Have you noticed that? Thats where you want to go." --David Letterman
　　他请了教授和警察周四一起到白宫喝啤酒。酒精总是会冷却一切。你注意到那个问题了吗？这就是你想去某个地方的原因。——大卫·莱特曼
　　"They had the big beer summit earlier tonight at the White House. President Obama had a beer with Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him. The meeting got off to a rough start when a neighbor called the police to say Gates was breaking into the White House." --Conan OBrien
　　他们今晚在白宫举行了一个大型啤酒峰会。奥巴马总统和哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨还有那个逮捕他的警察。会议的开始很艰难，因为一个邻居打电话给警察说盖茨正在闯入白宫。——柯南·奥布莱恩
　　"Big beer fest at the White House. And today, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an emergency goodwill mission for pretzels, so that will be good." --David Letterman　百考试题(www．Examda。com)
　　白宫的一个啤酒盛会。然后今天，奥巴马派副总统乔·拜登出席一个紧急的椒盐脆饼干亲善任务，所以这应该挺好的。——大卫·莱特曼
　　"Of course, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him to the White House. Reportedly, Obama is going to serve them Budweiser. And in the spirit of racial harmony, Budweiser is changing its nickname from the King of Beers to the Martin Luther King of Beers." --Conan OBrien
　　当然啦，奥巴马总统已经邀请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和那个逮捕他的警察一起到白宫。据报道，奥巴马将用百威啤酒招待他们。在种族和睦的精神下，百威的别称从“啤酒之王”改成了“啤酒中的马丁·路德·金”。——柯南·奥布莱恩
　　"People were so fascinated by what beer they were drinking. Apparently Gates had Red Stripe, Crowley had Blue Moon, and Obama, just to screw with the conservatives, had a 40 of King Cobra." --Bill Maher
　　人们都对他们喝的啤酒着迷了。很显然盖茨喝的是牙买加红带，克劳力的是蓝月，而奥巴马，为了给保守派们添添乱，喝的是40盎司的蛇王啤酒。——比尔·马赫
　　"The police officer, Officer Crowley ... apparently, he said Henry Louis Gates was threatening. And by threatening, of course, he meant he was an educated black man." --Bill Maher
　　这位警官、克劳力警官，显然，他曾经说过亨利·路易斯·盖茨曾经威胁他。而这个威胁，很显然，他的意思是他是一个受过教育的黑人。——比尔·马赫
　　"So, I dont know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher
　　所以，我也不知道这是不是种族主义的官司。剑桥市警察说这和盖茨是不是黑人完全无关。他们说他们会给任何少数派同等的待遇。——比尔·马赫
　　最近可能都没什么大事情发生，于是一些人很闲，翻出总统出生地的老问题，说奥巴马是秘密出生在肯尼亚的，不应该当美国总统，最近白宫的回应就是把总统的出生纸放到网上给大家看。来源：考试大
　　"But its all coming out okay, because Obama today spoke to Officer Crowley on the phone. He said he was a good man, a good policeman, and they could find common ground. Although he did find it strange at the end of their conversation that Crowley demanded to see his birth certificate." --Bill Maher
　　但是这些最后都没事了，因为奥巴马今天和克劳力警官通电话了。他说他是个好人，是个好警察，他们一定能找到一些共同点。尽管在谈话的最后事情变的有点奇怪了，克劳力警官要求看他的出生证明。——比尔·马赫
　　"The birthers believe that the president was secretly born in Kenya. ... I always thought he was born in a manger in Jerusalem." --Jimmy Kimmel
　　这些出生派们相信总统是秘密出生在肯尼亚的。……我总以为他是出生在耶路撒冷的马厩里的。——吉米·卡莫
　　"More than you might expect, actually, apparently there was a group of Americans who did not believe that Barack Obama was born in the United States and therefore should not be president. Theyre called birthers. They are. The birthers want Obamas election to be invalidated, which, Im not sure what their goal is. Are they aware that Joe Biden would be the president?" --Jimmy Kimmel
　　这简直太出乎意料了，事实上，很明显有一部分美国人不相信巴拉克·奥巴马是在美国出生的，认为他不应该成为美国的总统。他们被叫做“出生派”，是的。这些出生派们希望奥巴马的选举被废除，我也不知道他们的目的是啥，他们有没有发觉乔·拜登可能当总统啊？——吉米·卡莫
　　"Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. Thats an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who wont take anything on faith?" --Bill Maher
　　只有百分之四十二的共和党人相信奥巴马出生在美国，这是个惊人的数字。在美国，怎么会只有基督教徒不会在信仰上附加什么东西。——比尔·马赫
　　"Sarah Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because she didnt want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it. I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert
　　莎拉·佩林在她任职期满的前一年半辞职了，因为她说她不想让阿拉斯加有一个跛脚鸭州长。现在，她有一份价值上百万美元的出书生意。我等不及要读这本书了，我相信在第十页她会决定，这本书反正都会写完，就把剩下的两百页留白好了。——斯蒂芬·科尔伯特
　　"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare socialized medicine, I get to call private, for-profit healthcare soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain." --Bill Maher　来源：www.100test.com
　　如果保守主义者把全民医保叫做“社会化医疗”，我就把私人的、营利的医疗叫做“没心肝的，依托于人类痛苦赚钱的吸血鬼。”——比尔·马赫
　　"Big news up in Alaska. Sarah Palin will formally step down as governor on Sunday, leaving us completely unprotected from the Russians." --Jimmy Kimmel
　　阿拉斯加的大消息啊，莎拉·佩林周日正式下台了。留下我们在俄罗斯人面前毫无防备。——吉米·卡莫
　　"Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosis face tried to make." --Conan OBrien
　　参议员的成员们正在考虑对整容征税，当他们提起这件事的时候，你真应该看看南希·佩洛西想做出的表情。——柯南·奥布莱恩
　　"Opponents of President Obamas healthcare plan point out that people in other countries sometimes have to wait in line for healthcare, which Americans would never accept. Here, we only wait in line for stuff thats important, like iPhones and "Grand Theft Auto 4." --Jimmy Kimmel
　　奥巴马总统医疗计划的反对者们指出其他国家的人有时不得不排队看病，这是美国人民不能接受的。在美国，咱们只为一些重要的东西排队，比如iphone和侠盗猎车手4.——吉米·卡莫
　　"Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan OBrien
　　昨天，当然是在福克斯新闻台，新闻评论员格伦·贝克说他认为奥巴马总统是个种族主义者。好吧，公平点说，你每看格伦·贝克一次，就很容易更讨厌白人一点。——柯南·奥布莱恩